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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Confessions

I have some confessions to make. I'm hoping I will feel a little lighter after I get these off my chest, since lately I have some weight to lose. Literally. This is my pathetic attempt at getting rid of that extra weight without getting off my butt.

1. I have a bit of an obsession with Baby Gap. I go in there every time I'm at the mall, coveting everything in the store. Sometimes I want to kidnap babies just so I can have a doll to dress up in baby Gap clothes everyday.

2. I'm subscribed to 10 wedding blogs. Ok, it might be more like 30. No, I am not engaged. And yes, I am still single. Hey, it's never too early to start planning your wedding, right? RIGHT?

3. I'm a serious stalker. Seriously. I even stalk people just to see if they're stalking me. It's that bad.

4. I sometimes snort when I laugh really hard. Ok, and maybe when I'm not laughing really hard. Alright, sometimes I snort when I'm not even laughing at all.

5. I have some serious obsessions. Facebook. Blogs. Pinterest. Modern Family. Food. Babies. Twinkling lights. Chocolate. Yes, I do can spend hours upon hours on those every day. Yes, on each individually.

6. I'm slow at getting jokes so sometimes I laugh when I really don't get it. But I've gotten really good at pretending, so you probably won't notice I'm faking it.

7. I never brush my hair. Seriously. I don't think I've brushed it once this entire year.

8. I steal fruit from people's trees. Apricots, apples, grapes, cherries, tomatoes, berries...I'm looking for an avocado tree. Anyone know where I can find one?

9. I'm jealous of pregnant ladies. I just think they're cute, and I want to be cute too, ok?

10. I watch the Bachelor Pad. And I like it. It's an even dumber show than Bachelor and Bachelorette (if that is even possible), but when I'm at work, I get desperate. And the Bachelor Pad is entertaining.

Well, there you go. That should at least be 10 lbs I lost, right?

In my dreams...if only it were that easy. I'd willingly confess my deepest, darkest secrets to the whole world.

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