Crazy

So I'm doing my clinicals at the mental hospital right now. I've gotta say it is quite interesting and intriguing to me to interact with these people who are mentally ill. The unit I am on is for men who have criminal charges who were found incompetent and were sent to the hospital to restore competency for their trial or hearing. Some are in for things like stealing, or using illegal drugs, or worst, killing someone.

Although it sounds scary, it really isn't too bad. Surprisingly, most of the patients are very nice and friendly. One older man apparently really likes talking to me, because everytime I go, he comes and finds me and then starts going off about the most random things. He has interesting delusions like how everyone on the unit is gay, or how everyone in UT are druggies and that he needs to get out, or how he's being held hostage in the hospital, or how there are all these conspiracies in the government, or that they are building nuclear power plants on his land, or how there is a Pot plantation up in the mountain. Makes for entertaining conversation, wouldn't you agree?

The first day when we had orientation we had to do this "voices" simulation, where you put on earphones and experience what it's like to hear voices in your head like schizophrenics. That was the most disturbing experience I've ever been through. It was absolutely awful and terrifying, and we only had to listen for 10 minutes. I was seriously disturbed the rest of the day and couldn't get it out of my head. That night I was scared to go to bed.

I don't think I can describe in words how horrible it was! The voices were just so...creepy. Sometimes they tell them to do awful things like hurt themselves or loved ones. Or they tell them all these bad things about themselves like how they are useless and that no one likes them or things like that. I think after doing that simulation, I gained a new respect and compassion for these people who are mentally ill. I truly think that would be the worst kind of illness you could possibly have. How awful would it be to not be able to tell hallucinations or delusions from reality? What you believe IS your reality. Can you imagine living like that and always having people tell you you're crazy and what you believe is false? I can't.

Being in nursing has really helped me appreciate my health. It is awful seeing all these sick people all the time and all the horrible things they have to go through. Appreciate your health and never take it for granted! Take care of your body, because having good health really is one of the greatest blessings you could have.